Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities -- From the Very Start Paperback Author: Visit Amazon's Magda Gerber Page | Language: English | ISBN:
1118158792 | Format: PDF, EPUB
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Review
Excellent ideas for fostering closeness and healthy independence... easy to browse format of anecdotes and information arranged in chronological order. --
Children's Literature, 1998, by Deborah Zink RoffinoReaders will find plenty of wisdom and common sense on these pages. --
Publisher's Weekly, January 1998This book gave me a practical guide to giving my children enough room... has been an amazing resource for me. --
O, Oprah's Magazine, May 2005, by Felicity Huffman --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From the Publisher
Here is the "RIE" method, the increasingly popular, common-sense approach to child-raising, created by a renowned infant specialist and founder of Resources for Infant Educarers. Explains how to use observation as the main tool for growth and learning, when to intervene and when to encourage independence, how to connect with a baby through daily tasks, and how to build trust, endurance and optimism in a child.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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- Paperback: 256 pages
- Publisher: Wiley (February 2012)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1118158792
- ISBN-13: 978-1118158791
- Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
- Shipping Weight: 10.7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
I literally couldn't put this book down when I received it. I must have read a few dozen parenting books by now, but this one still has new insights worth reading. However, as an attachment parent, I disagree with several points.
Here are the main points that I found to be useful:
1. Have respect for the baby. He is a person, not a pet. If you need to do something to him,
let him know (now it's time to change your diaper....). This is similar to how a doctor talks you through a procedure beforehand so that you prepare for it mentally. I must say that these ideas are not entirely novel. Writings of Maria Montessori advocate respect for the child (see for example Secret of Childhood. Also, talking to your baby about what's going on is suggested by Bright from the Start: The Simple, Science-Backed Way to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mindfrom Birth to Age 3. I can't remember where else I read about asking for permission from non-verbal babies (e.g. "Would you like me to pick you up now?") but I liked the idea, and has worked for me and my 2-year old. As a child what I hated most was relatives kissing and pinching my cheeks when I did not want that. My boy knows he has a choice in things that involve his body - he is not my property.
2. Crying is not the end of the world. I am one of those parents who feels like I have been stabbed in between my shoulders when my baby cries. I have, over time, figured out what different cries mean, and have relaxed.
This book explores the "proper" method to raise a child who is self-confident and respectful. I know there is no "right" way to raise a child but I feel the more informed I am the better my decisions will be. This book employs a philisophy the author terms RIE (pronounce WRY)-Resources for Infant Educarers. RIE adheres to the following principles:
* Basic trust in the child to be an initiator, an explorer, and a self-learner
* Time for uninterrupted play
* An environmnet for the child that is physically safe, cognitively challenging, and emotionally nurturing
* Involvement of the child in all caregiving activities to allow it to become an active participant rather than a passive recipient
* Sensitive observation of the child in order to understand her needs
* Consistency and clearly defined limits and expectations to develop discipline
A couple of examples given in the book covers getting your child to sleep and communication. RIE recommends that you always put your child to bed awake. Why? Babies are aware of their surroundings. If a baby is lying in the living room and wakes up in a bed, it is confusing for the child. Another example is talking to your child. When you are going to change a diaper, it's recommended that you communicate this to your child and ask for her cooperation. This allows the child the opportunity to process this information and prepare for the activity as well as enable them to become a participant rather than a recipient.
I finished this book and found it extremely illuminating. For me, the things that stood out (i.e., things I didn't think about while around babies) are:
* Talk to the Baby, not about it
* Treat the Baby as a person not as an object. They have feelings and those feelings should be respected.
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