When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, [Kindle Edition] Author: Jane Adams | Language: English | ISBN:
B001D1YCH2 | Format: PDF, EPUB
When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, Epub Free
Download for free books When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, Epub Free from mediafire, rapishare, and mirror link How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty- and even thirty-somethings who can't seem to grow up? How can we help our depressed, dependent, or addicted adult children, the ones who can't get their lives started, who are just marking time or even doing it? What's the right strategy when our smart, capable "adultolescents" won't leave home or come boomeranging back? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed?
In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns, including our silence and self-imposed sense of isolation, when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least, not yet -- and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships.
With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children -- Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author of I'm Still Your Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do! Direct download links available for When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, Epub Free
- File Size: 266 KB
- Print Length: 224 pages
- Publisher: Free Press (May 27, 2003)
- Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc
- Language: English
- ASIN: B001D1YCH2
- Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
X-Ray:
- Lending: Not Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #49,152 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
- #10
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Parent & Adult Child - #21
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting > Teenagers - #26
in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Parent & Adult Child
- #10
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Parent & Adult Child - #21
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting > Teenagers - #26
in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Parent & Adult Child
I gave this book five stars because Adams offers a clear message on a vital topic that deserves more attention.
I know at least three women who have entered therapy because they can't handle their grown children. One college graduate won't leave home or get a job. Another has been on drugs and a third was diagnosed as mentally ill. When I say, "Can't you just detach?" they say, "You have no kids -- just a dog. It's harder than you think."
So I was happy to read the same message from Jane Adams, a social psychologist who's an expert. Take care of yourself, she urges parents. Set limits. We can only save ourselves.
Parents who do too much are pleasing themselves, not the children. Their addiction, says Adams, is to the belief that anything can be fixed. In reality, "Parenthood is one long exercise in relinquishing control -- or the illusion that we ever had it. Postparenthood is about acceptance."
Not all acceptance is about criminal activity or mental illness. Adams should be commended for recognizing that sometimes there's nothing to be shocked about. Most cults, she says, are fairly harmless, and sexual orientation is not a choice. Don't waste time trying to force changes.
The style and structure of the book resemble an informal support group. Adams's style uses a lot of "We" sentences: "As parents, we..." After awhile, I found myself irritated, especially when I read something alone the lines of,. "As we get older, we are willing to accept lower-paying, less competitive jobs..." Who's this "we?" I certainly do not fit this pattern, nor do my contemporary-age friends.
You'll find many stories from real parents with out-of-control adult children. While they held my attention, I kept waiting for more commentary. We (see, I'm doing it now!
Book Preview
When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, Download
Please Wait...