Dealing with People You Can’t Stand, Revised and Expanded Third Edition: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst Paperback Author: Visit Amazon's Rick Kirschner Page | Language: English | ISBN:
0071785728 | Format: PDF, EPUB
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About the Author
Dr. Rick Kirschner and Dr. Rick Brinkman are naturopathic physicians, professional speakers, and trainers.
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- Paperback: 288 pages
- Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 3rd Revised edition (May 23, 2012)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0071785728
- ISBN-13: 978-0071785723
- Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
I was employed with a large Fortune 500 company at a time when the following tragedy occurred. On a beautiful early spring day, a recently-terminated higher-level employee, a young man only a few years out of college, strode into the cafeteria at lunchtime and fired a gun into the heads of his former supervisor and four other employees, killing three, then himself.
This type of scenario repeats in businesses, schools, shopping malls, even movie theaters and churches. There is an increasing need for understanding in this field accessible by the reader having no experience in behavioral science, a field which has virtually exploded in knowledge in the past two decades.
The book contains generic advice, and you may find some limited help in it for some specific kinds of situations. Much of what people usually seek help for will need to be found elsewhere. If you are dealing with persons who have genuine mental issues (there are more than a few around, and the nature and scope of the difficulty unknown), you will find no help here. If you are in a closer situation with the person, such as a family member, you will want to look elsewhere for advice.
I do not know the authors, but am sure they have good intentions. They are Naturopaths. Naturopathy is a type of healing for the body that avoids surgery and prescription drugs, using instead natural remedies.
Interacting with people, and particularly "difficult" ones, is in the domain of psychology. The authors do not refer to having any formal behavioral science background. In part, the book contains familiar errors that laypersons often make which are not reflective of a formal background. You will find no reviews or endorsement of the book by psychologists.
As the authors say, "Difficult people are a part of very person's life." They further point out that at times each of us are difficult people to someone else. For the most part we are all ill equipped to deal with difficult people. Most people could use some advice and guidance in 1) how to deal with difficult people and 2) how not to be a difficult person. "Dealing with People You Can't Stand" provides a wealth of advice and guidance we all can use in our business and personal lives.
Before jumping into specific tips and techniques for dealing with difficult people, the authors give a framework for understanding the various behaviors of people. They illustrate this by drawing an X and a Y axis and saying that people generally fall somewhere along the continuum of "get it done/get it right" on one axis and "get along/get approval" on the other.
Part 2 of the book deals with how to improve your communication skills. This section deals with resolving conflict, listening skills, speaking to be understood and how to change your attitude. So much of good communication depends on your attitude. Too often we fail to communicate our intentions and unfortunately the person we are communicating with often assumes/guesses incorrectly.
Once you have a clear understanding of the motives behind the different types of behavior, you can then understand and appreciate how the authors classify the different types of difficult people. They are: The Tank, Sniper, Know-it-all, Grenade, Think-they-know-it-all, Martyr, Maybe person, Yes person, Nothing person, No person, Whiner, Judge and the Meddler.
There is a chapter dealing with each type of difficult person. The authors go into great detail explaining how and why each type acts the way they do.
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